Soul Calibur COPS
by Anthony2190
Summary: What happens when Soul Calibur Characters go bad find out on Soul Calibur COPS Rated T for some Swearing and Suggestive Themes
1. Characters

Default Chapter

I do not own Soul Calibur Namco does i wish I owned it though

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Police Characters

Name: Seishuku Akatsuki Age: 21 Gender: Male

Clothes: Sleevless Shirt / Hunters Pants / Pirates Belt / Clothe Boots

Discipline: Soul of Seong Mi-Na

Weapon: Scarlet Thunder

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Name: Seong Ni-Mei Age: 20 Gender: Female

Clothes: Sleevless Shirt / Tied Pants / Guardian Belt / Clothe Boots

Discipline: Soul of Seong Mi-Na

Weapon: Scarlet Thunder

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please review but hey I'll still put up new chapters anyway


	2. Case 1 Part 1 Raphael

Case 1

The Sorel Child Abuse Incident Part 1

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Seishuku: Hi Welcome to Cops my name is Officer Seishuku Akatsuki

Seong Ni-Mei: and I'm officer Seong Ni-Mei were here because we have reports of screams coming from a Castle nearby it belongs to a man named Raphael Sorel it seems he lives with his Daughter Amy and we are here to check out what's going on

Seishuku and Seong Ni-Mei walk up to the door of the Castle and knock

Voice: Daddy Please Leave me alone!!!

Raphael: Shut up!!

Raphael opens the door

Raphael: Oh can I help you officers

Seishuku: Yes Sir we need to ask a few questions regarding your Daughter

Raphael: Oh yes of course Amy Sweetie come here please

Amy: He Hits me!!!

Raphael: Oh don't mind her

Seishuku: Sir is that true?!

Raphael: Well maybe a little bit I'm sorry officers but I must retire for the evening

Raphael Closes the Door

Raphael: You little Brat you want daddy to go to jail

Hitting noises heard inside

Seong Ni-Mei Kicks open the door

Seong Ni-Mei: Sir please step away from the girl

Raphael Holding a Lamp and standing over Amy

Seong Ni-Mei: Sir drop the lamp please!!

Raphael Drops the Lamp

Raphael: Alright Alright I'm cooperating

Raphael runs for the Exit

Seishuku: Sir Stop Resisting Arrest!!

Seishuku tackles Raphael and starts beating him with the Blunt end of his Spear

Raphael: I'm Sorry I'm sorry stop beating me!!

Seishuku: Stop Resisting!!

Raphael: I'm not I'm not!!

40 Minutes later

Raphael bloody and Handcuffed

Seong Ni-Mei: Seishuku Seriously you went a bit overboard

Seishuku Shrugs

Seishuku: Atleast I did'nt kill him this time

Seong Ni-Mei looks at Raphael

Seong Ni-Mei: You got a point

Amy: What do I do now

Seishuku: Don't worry sweetie were taking you to the station you'll safe there


	3. Case 1 Part 2

Case 1 Part 2

The Sorel Child Abuse Incident Part 2

Raphael sits in an Interrogation room

Raphael: I Demand I see my Daughter!!!

Amy Starts crying in fear

Seong Ni-Mei: Its alright Sweetie your safe here he can't hurt you

Seishuku enters the room and sits in the interrogation room

Raphael: Where's my Daughter!!!

Seishuku: She's safe now I'm gonna ask you a few questions if you don't answer them-

Raphael: I Know I Know it can be used against me in the court of law

Seishuku smiles in a Xianghua type way

Seishuku: No I'll beat you again

Raphael Gulps nervously

Seishuku: So Mr.Sorel why did you strike your child

Seishuku starts drinking a cup of coffee

Raphael: She was having underage Sex

Seishuku spits out coffee all over Raphael

Seishuku: What!!!???

Raphael: AHHHHH!!!!!!!! HOT HOT HOT COFFEE IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seishuku splashes a Cup of water on Raphael

Seishuku: Feel Better?

Raphael: Yes thank you so as I was saying she was having underage sex

Seishuku spits out more coffee

Raphael: AHHHHHHHHHHHH HOT HOT HOT IT BURNS MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seishuku grabs another cup thinking it is water

Seong Ni-Mei: Seishuku no that's Coffee!!!

Seishuku splashes Coffee on Raphael

Raphael falls out of chair not moving

Amy: OMG Daddy!!!!

Seishuku: Uh oh this isi'nt good

Seong Ni-Mei: No Sh-

Seishuku: Mei Amy is still here

Seong Ni-Mei: Oh sorry

Seong Ni-Mei covers Amy's ears

Seong Ni-Mei: No Shit!!!

Seishuku pokes Raphael's Body

Raphael: Hot Hot!!!

Raphael Gets up

Seishuku: OMG a Zombie!!!

Seishuku grabs Scarlet thunder and starts smashing Raphael over the head

Raphael falls to the ground not moving

Seong Ni-Mei: Well he's dead now

Seishuku: We'll just says he commited Suicide

Seong Ni-Mei: With Coffee?

Seishuku: Sure people do it all the time what do you think happened to Hwang and Li-Long

Seong Ni-Mei: You splashed Coffee all over them idiot I was there

Seishuku: Exactly so we just say it's a suicide just like Li-Long and Hwang

Seong Ni-Mei: Your lucky you're my boyfriend and you and me are the only cops in this whole entire Game

Seishuku: you have a good point we need more cops

Seong Ni-Mei: So what do we do with Amy

Seishuku: just give her to Sophitia I'm sure she won't mind

[ The Interview

Seishuku: ya so it seems Raphael Sorel Commited Suicide while in custody of the Soul Police we send our Deepest apologies to the Family of Raphael we have given custody off Raphael's Daughter Amy to Sophitia Alexandra the Police will give no further comment on this Matter


	4. Case 2

Case 2

The Case of the missing Donuts

Seishuku: Hey Mei where did the Donuts go!!

Seong Ni-Mei: Seishuku I'm just in the next room don't yell and I don't know the Station only has 3 rooms

Seishuku: Yes and I checked them all I even checked your panty drawer twice

Seong Ni-Mei: Why Twice?

Seishuku: Once to search and again just to look at your Panties

Seong Ni-Mei: Pervert

Seishuku: anyway I can't find them

Seong Ni-Mei: This is not good every cop knows we get our power from Donuts

Seishuku: WERE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!

Seong Ni-Mei slaps Seishuku

Seong Ni-Mei: Get A Hold of Yourself Seishuku

Seishuku: Sorry about that

Seong Ni-Mei: This is serious we have to find those Donuts

Seishuku: Right so where first

Seong Ni-Mei: To Japan!!!

Seishuku: Japan?

Seong Ni-Mei: Yes one because I just want to go there and second because it has ninja's that steal stuff and third because of Yoshimitsu

Seishuku nods

Seishuku: Alright good point

[ Japan

Seishuku: How did we get here so fast

Seong Ni-Mei: The author sent us here now let our Search Begin

Seishuku and Seong Ni-Mei arrive in Taki's ninja village don't ask me how they found the ninja village they just did

Seishuku knocks on the door of Taki's House

Taki opens the door

Taki: Oh hello officers how may I help you

Seishuku: thank you I need to ask you have you seen any Donuts around here

Taki: Donuts?

Seishuku: Yes Ma'am

Taki: Uh no I'm sorry

Seishuku: Thank you Ma'am

Taki: Of Course sir

Taki Closes the door

Seong Ni-Mei: how do we find them!!

Seishuku: We talk to the Wise and Mighty Olcadan

Seong Ni-Mei: But he lives in Greece that's so far!!

Seishuku: You want donuts don't you

Seong Ni-Mei: Alright fine lets go

Seishuku: To Greece!!

Seong Ni-Mei Nods

[Greece

Seishuku: That creepy Transport thingy is weird

Seong Ni-Mei: ya I have to agree well anyway down to business

Seishuku: now then where does he live?

Seong Ni-Mei: You don't know?

Seishuku: Nope not at all

Seong Ni-Mei: Ok this is stupid lets just buy new Donuts

Seishuku: ok ya lets just do that

[ Donut Shop

Nightmare: WELCOME TO MY EVIL DONUT SHOP HOW MAY I HELP YOU!!!!!!

Seishuku: you run a Evil Donut Shop?

Nightmare: YES NOW HOW CAN I HELP YOU

Seishuku: Uh one box of Glazed Donuts please

Seong Ni-Mei: and one box of Chocolate too

Nightmare: ONE BOX OF EVIL GLAZED DONUTS AND ONE BOX OF EVIL CHOCOLATE DONUTS AM I CORRECT

Seishuku: Yes

Nightmare puts 2 boxes of Donuts on the counter

Nightmare: THAT WILL BE 9 DOLLARS AND 50 CENTS

Seishuku give Nightmare the money and backs away slowly with the Donuts

Seishuku:Thanks for reading and please review

Nightmare: YES PLEASE REVIEW INDEED


	5. Unsolved Mystery

I do not own Soul Calibur or Austin Powers I wish I did but I don't sorry this chapter will be a bit short

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Unknown Mystery

The Case of the Freakin Demonic Chair

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Seishuku sits in his chair eating a Donut

Seong Ni-Mei comes in with a rolling chair

Seishuku: Hey Mei what is that?

Seong Ni-Mei: I Dunno Nightmare left it outside his Donut shop so I decided what the heck I'll take it

Seishuku: Can I sit in it

Seong Ni-Mei: Sure

Seishuku sits in the chair

Seong Ni-Mei: well?

Seishuku: its nice

Chair starts spinning

Seishuku: Ok Mei this isi'nt funny cut it out

Seong Ni-Mei: I'm not doing anything

Seishuku: I'm serious I'm getting sick

Seong Ni-Mei: I'm not doing anything!!

Seishuku: well the chair isi'nt doin it by itself

Seong Ni-Mei: yes it is

Seishuku: Freakin Demonic Chair the Power of Christ Compels you the Power of Christ compels you Somebody do something the power of Christ Compels you Seong Ni-Mei do something!!!

Seong Ni-Mei: Do what!!

Seishuku: Call the freakin Exorcism the power of Christ Compels you!!!!

Please review


	6. Case 3

I Do not own Soul Calibur Namco does

Case 3

Neighborhood Disturbance

Seishuku: Hi were here because we have reports of a Domestic Disturbance

Seong Ni-Mei: We have to come out here like Every Freakin Week!!

Seishuku: Ya its usually a bickering couple name Mitsurugi and Setsuka well lets go

Seishuku knocks on the door

Setsuka's Voice: OUT GET THE HELL OUT!!!

Mitsurugi comes running out of the house with a cut mark on his cheek

Seishuku: Setsuka what is the problem this time

Setsuka: He keeps going out I think he;s cheating on me!!

Mitsurugi: I Would Never Cheat on you!!

Setsuka: Liar Stop Lying!!!

Mitsurugi: Who the hell would I cheat with!!!

Setsuka : That Whore Taki!!!

Mitsurugi: Oh come on it was one time she kissed me

Setsuka: Shut up you know you liked it!!!

Seishuku: AlrightM both of you quiet down how can we solve this problem

Setsuka: I Want him arrested

Seishuku sighs

Seishuku: Setsuka listen I can't arrest him if I should arrest anybody it should be you

Seishuku points at cut on Mitsurugi's cheek

Seishuku: Did that cut get there by itself

Setsuka remains quiet

Seishuku: Did it or did it not Setsuka

Setsuka: I Don't know

Seishuku: No No No Setsuka this is a yes or no question did it get there by itself

Setsuka: No

Seishuku: Ok then how did it get there

Setsuka: I Don't know

Seishuku sighs

Seishuku: Ok Setsuka what do you want to do

Setsuka: I Don't know

Seishuku: What do you mean you don't know

Seong Ni-Mei: Setsuka what exactly do you want to do

Setsuka: I Want him arrested!!

Seong Ni-Mei: No we can't do that Setsuka you assaulted him we can arrest you we can either take you to the Station or a Relatives house or we can leave you here what do you want to do

Setsuka: I don't know

Seishuku: Setsuka this has become a weekly thing and frankly I'm sick of it so what do you want to do

Setsuka: I Want to leave

Seishuku: ok then is there anything you need from the house clothes personal belongings

Setsuka nods

Seong Ni-Mei: Alright come on I'll help you

Setsuka nods silently

Seong Ni-Mei and Setsuka go into the house

Mitsurugi Sighs

Mitsurugi: Officer I'm sorry about this

Seishuku: No no no don't be she probably just needs a few days to cool off maybe go to a couple of anger management classes

Mitsurugi: We used to be so happy I don't know what happened

Seishuku: well maybe its time to find someone new

Mitsurugi: Ya maybe

Seong Ni-Mei's Voice: Watch out she's got a sword!!

Setsuka charges at Mitsurugi with Sword

Seishuku: Setsuka put the sword down alright just calm down

Setsuka: Alright I'm calm I;m calm

Setsuka puts down the sword

Seishuku: Alright Setsuka were gonna go were gonna get you some help ok

[ after arrest

Seishuku: so ya it seems we finally solved the problem so we should'nt hear from these two again were taking Setsuka to get some mental help and Mitsurugi's deciding what he wants to do

Seong Ni-Mei: Well I'm happy its over

Seishuku: Well lets go get some Donuts and Coffee

Seong Ni-Mei: Sounds like a plan


End file.
